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Courtyard Humor

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What is a Grandmother?

A third grader gave the following definition of a grandmother.

A grandmother is a lady who has no children of her own. She likes little girls. A grandfather is a man grandmother. He goes for walks with boys and talks about fishing, tractors and such.

Grandmothers don’t have to do anything but be there. They’re old, so they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is enough if they drive us to the market where the pretend horse is and have plenty of dimes. Or if they take us for walks, they should slow down past things like leaves or caterpillars. They never say hurry up. They don’t have to be smart, only answer questions like: “Why do dogs hate cats”, and “how come God isn’t married?”. They may be fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes. They wear glasses and can take off their teeth and gums. They don’t talk baby talk like visitors because it is hard to understand. When they read to us they don’t skip or mind if it’s the same story over and over again.

Everybody should have one, especially if you don’t have television, because grandmas are the only grownups who have any time for children.

The Glory of Old Age

Oh, what a wondrous thing it is
To reach a mountain top,
And view the panorama
Of all we’ve left behind.

Though breathless from
The climb it took
To reach this lofty point.
Our weariness is overcome by awe.

For what we view is
Many years of joy and tears,
Of effort and reward
To guide us now as we get on with life.

Phyllis Jamison